It's Never Too Late... Or Is It?

I hope you all read this blog post. Mostly because I don't think anyone is, but especially for this post.

I found this positively HILARIOUS video mini-musical about gay marriage created by tons of Hollywood actors and very clever directors. It is amazing... but I wish they had done it like 4 weeks ago. Then we could have all moved on with our lives. It stars Jack Black as Jesus, Neil Patrick Harris as himself, and hippies doing battle with religious zealots in the form of actors and actresses from Saturday Night Live, the West Wing, and of course, Dewey Cox. I hope you all enjoy it!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Studs Terkel and This American Life

I am listening to a This American Life episode with Studs Terkel interviews. He was adept in getting great stories from people. This particular episode is dealing with the Great Depression, his most famous topic. The production was "A Gathering of Survivorsr: Voices of the Great American Depression."

One of the last women he interviewed was talking about how she found out President Roosevelt had 80 cufflinks; some ruby, some emerald, some diamond. How could one person have so much while so many people are starving, she thought. Amazing. There are so many people like that out there, that feel that way, especially now, and yet socialism is still a bad word. "Sharing the wealth" is such a bad thing.

I think it was the same woman who was later talking about how she came to understand that Black people were the same as White people. She said that after the Great Depression, there was a lot of propaganda dividing Americans. Yeah, you all went through all this terrible poverty, but you're white, so you're better. One of her realizations was of gender. She saw a huge white man slam the door in the face of a grocery clerk, a black woman, as she took his groceries to his car for him. She cursed him off, and it was one step towards this realization that a certain kind of people aren't different or inferior or superior than another kind.

I love This American Life. I cannot help thinking that if more people listened to this show, we would live in a different world. Maybe that's not true. Maybe people could divorce what they hear from what they live. But maybe, just maybe, it would make one person change their behavior towards those less fortunate or in positions where they have no power to change their situations, controlled by a machine much larger than themselves.

Maybe that will be one of the lessons of this "minor" economic downturn. People are losing their homes, their livelihoods, their cars... do you think that they will realize that the important thing to do is to stick together?

From the Annals of "Duh" Science...

Thank goodness for stories such as this one from NPR's Talk of the Nation Science Friday. "Happy Tunes Make for Healthy Hearts." Apparently, listening to upbeat, "joyful" music releases endorphins and dilates the blood vessels, allowing for better blood flow to the heart, much like exercise. Woah, really?! Happy music makes you happier and therefore healthier?? You just freakin' blew my mind! Who woulda thought?

In other news, this afternoon, I signed this pledge to repeal Prop 8. It won't happen, but it's apparently being decided by the California Supreme Court even as we speak, so something will happen indeed. The post includes a comment from Keith Olbermann that he recited on his show last week that was really quite amazing. I have embeded the video from YouTube. Feel free to check it out. I nearly cried. Had I not been at work, I would have done so.

At Least Someone Can Laugh About It

Gays Less Popular Than Farm Animals, More Popular Than Criminals

Happy, With Caveats

I'm so psyched for Barack Obama. Really, I am. And I'm very optimistic about the direction of the country with Democratic control of House, Senate, and the Presidency. Plus, the defeat of all of the anti-choice ballot initiatives and bans is icing on the cake of a great night.

I am, however, perturbed by the idea that a rich few can take away the civil rights of so many. This time, it's the rights of gays and lesbians in California. How long will we have to wait to have marriage equality? 10 years? 20? 50? Why do people care? Have gays been running around killing or destroying property after they took their vows? Homosexuality isn't a disease, it's not getting into the water, and it's not destroying the institution of marriage. DIVORCE IS.

My new motto is: "Protect traditional marriage. STOP DIVORCE."

And no, I don't mean no one should get divorced. There are plenty of people who have and should be allowed to do so. It's just crazy that people can be so afraid of something they cannot even see, touch, or hear. "Oh no, not another married gay couple! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"

Thus, my happiness for President-Elect Barack Obama is heavily tempered by my disgust with intolerant Americans.

Bother to Vote!

Apparently, my brother bothered to vote yesterday and he had to wait in line for hours, even though it was early voting. Democracy in action!!!



Anyhoo, things are good here in view of the mountains. The gf may get a job soon, though she also now has a part-time job to get a little extra cash to help pay the bills. Mostly, my bills, because I've been buying everything. We're trying to keep track of spending and doing so by having me spend all of it and keep track. It'll work, I promise.

Thanks to my good friend Jim for the link to this website. The videos are pretty funny, but my favorite was the fake McCain robocalls. Priceless.

The election is only 9 days away! What on earth are we going to do for the next week? I know, watch the Daily Show online FOR-E-VER. Starting now.

Oh, and work is great. I love working for KTEH/KQED and Northern California Public Broadcasting. It rocks. Development too, rocks.

(Sorry about this post, I'm a little distracted by the Daily Show.)

I Have an Apartment, Too!

First, before I talk about me, I read in the LA Times that a couple in Dubai got drunk and had sex on the beach. They were sentenced for drinking and having -- you guessed it -- pre-marital sex. How long was their sentence? Three months! Thank you, Dubai, for taking this dangerous couple off the streets. Who knows who could be their next victim!

Anyway, back to me - I have an apartment! Moving this week is our current priority, and I'm very excited to have my own space. Also, the gf might be getting a full-time job soon - she has an interview today and one on Monday. Wish her luck!

In other news, I watched the debate last night. I think the Republicans are race-baiting, and Congressman John Lewis was right. If someone comes to your rally and screams that your opponent should be killed, racial slurs, or other horrible things, you should call them out and stop it so that it doesn't happen again. Calling your opponent a terrorist is NOT OK. Letting your supporters call for him to be killed - NOT OK. I agree with Stanley Rich on this one. Republicans are playing up fear, and inevitably, some of that fear is race-based. I guess the McCain campaign is doing so poorly they cannot afford to offend their racist supporters, either.

So now, here's one last photograph with which to close the blog. This one is from the AP. It's what happens when John McCain walks off the wrong part of the stage. Haha, awesome. A picture definitely is worth a thousand words.

I Have a Job! And Other Things You May or May Not Care About

I have a job! Soon, I will be working for public broadcasting in Northern California. Huzzah! Don't worry, I will be posting the link soon. No, the gf doesn't have a job yet, but it's coming - I can feel it in the wind. And no, we don't have an apartment yet - but we'll be looking starting... now.

I just voted! I voted for... hey, none of your damn business! Hint: it wasn't for John McCain. But anyway, I was happy to see the entire Green party ticket was female. Huzzah! I nearly voted Green, but I've heard that there's a possibility that New Jersey could go red this year, and I can't let that happen. Crap, I just gave away who I voted for!

But, I did vote Republican once. I know, I know, save it, you pinko Commies. Anyway, I voted for the incumbent in the Ocean County Clerk race, mainly because I think it's low that the Democratic challenger suddenly, within the past week, was asking for an investigation into the clerk's use of public funds. That's the only thing I can find about the guy, and it's negative, and that seems like dirty politics to me. Also, I can't find any bad press about this guy Carl Block, so until something bad comes out, I'm OK with keeping him in. Plus, I'm not going to be a citizen of Ocean County for much longer.. he he he...

Oh, and those ballot initiatives? I voted No and Yes respectively. I read the ballot descriptions on the League of Women Voters site, and I used my best judgment. Only time will tell if I'm correct or not.

If only there were as much coverage about local and state races as there is about national ones. Then I'd know how to vote. Of course, being in California doesn't help, either.

Apocalypse Now!

These people scare the poop out of me. Almost as much as Sarah Palin does.

Cannot wait to see Bill Maher's movie Religulous. Spell check says yes, it is a made-up word, but it is a combination of Religious and Ridiculous. Which, Bill Maher thinks, are the same thing. The link above is a trailer. I suggest you check it out.

Other things that are bothering me this week: Congress. To think that Americans honestly thought bipartisanship would take a back seat to injecting capital into the economy - I know, right? Crazy! No way. Nancy Pelosi gives a speech much like any speech one would hear on the floor of the House of Representatives - passionate, accusatory, but correct - and the bill fails, with House Republicans blaming it on "partisan vitriol." Sure, blame it all on Nancy, not your petty middle school politics. They'd rather blame the woman than themselves, obviously. What's interesting to me about this situation, though, is that now Democrats have become the party of big business, voting mostly to bail out Wall Street. Now, this was not exactly the bill the President and the Secretary of the Treasury were hoping for, but still the basis was the same: give lots of money to banks and investment firms so they could continue to invest and grow the economy. Most Democrats voted for it, but Republicans renegged on their promise to do so, and suddenly the stock market tumbles.

Do you think those Republicans, who rely on large donations from Wall Street, are going to get those donations? Suddenly, even though 90 Dems voted against this bill, the Democrats are seen as the party looking out for the interests of Wall Street.

Don't ask me if it's a good bill or a bad one: I don't know anything about the economy. All I know is that it's tanking, something needs to be done, the people who ran the economy into the ground, including those in the White House as well as those on Wall Street, need to be thrown out of their private jets without a golden parachute and new people need to take the controls.

#1: East Meets West... License Plates

I've decided I'm going to start writing periodically about my perspective on the West Coast as an East Coaster. It's going to make me millions.

Entry #1: License Plates

This might seem obvious to you Californians reading, or even to you Easterners, but the one weird thing about living in California is the shocking lack of other-state license plates. There's nothing but Californian cars in this state! Now some of you are thinking to yourselves, "Well of course not, Danielle, California is a huge state, so most people visiting from out of town fly." Well aren't you smart! Yes, once in awhile I'll see a Washington or Oregon plate, and today I saw one from Texas, but 99.999% are from this very state. In New Jersey, you are constantly seeing plates from New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Connecticut, Massachusetts... all tiny states that nuzzle New Jersey, in a manner of speaking. You could commute from some of those places in less than an hour, and some people do it daily. But, in California, or at least in Los Angeles, the nearest state is about six hours away.

Ok, so that may not be a startling revelation, but it's definitely noticeable. I'm feeling a little... isolated right now.

500 Miles from Our Shores

There is an unmitigated disaster in Haiti right now, and it's so close to us. It's heartbreaking to see those people, desperate, beating each other up for food and relief water from the UN. It's being struck by yet another hurricane right now, and it's horrible. Why can't we help people that are closer to us than California is to Kansas? I think it's inexcusable, both the poverty before the hurricanes swept away towns and now the devastation after.

The Best A (Wo)Man Can Get

I just saw a Gillette shampoo commercial, and I noticed something. They say the same things they say in women's shampoo commercials, but they play rock in the background, use blue and black color schemes, and growl out all of their words. If they put lots of pink, light green, and flowers with a woman narrating, talking about vitamins and soft hair, then BOOM: they have a woman's shampoo commercial.

Very original. I guess a shampoo commercial with Ultimate Fighting Championship fighters, axel grease, and sweat wouldn't really drive the grooming point home.

Quality Reading

A few articles for those of us obsessed about current events. The first one is from an op-ed writer for the Los Angeles Times. He picked up on my blog post about being pro-choice and Sarah Palin's daughter (of course, 8 billion other people are talking about it as well) being able to make her choice while her mom seeks to deny the same one to other women. Good read, though nothing really new. Jon Stewart said it on The Daily Show that its wrong for her make the media "respect [Bristol's] decision" while if she were President, "she would deny that choice to others."

The second article I wanted to mention was a piece from Gloria Steinem (also in the LA Times, but probably in others also) asking how dumb Republicans think women are. Do they really think we're so desperate for a female candidate that we will support a woman who supports no other women? It won't work, she says. I hope she's right.

There's one more that I found at the New York Times. It's by Judith Warner about sexism and Sarah Palin, and though I think some of her points are a little off the mark, most of them are brilliant.

And finally, a column by Thomas Friedman about energy plans and how John McCain isn't even a maverick when it comes to energy. He's in the pocket of big oil just like his running mate, and the only viable green option is Barack Obama.

The Politics of Negativity

There are a few things I want to blog about today. First, I'd like to talk about the RNC v. the DNC. Their convention speeches may not sound all that dissimilar, but their websites just about say it all. If you log on to the RNC's national page, the only thing you saw, before Hurricane Gustav and the convention, was negative things about Joe Biden and Barack Obama. They have a "time since Biden's last gaffe" counter up there, and something about Barack Obama that I haven't checked out. I'm pretty sure that it is negative, though. Switching over now to the Democratic National Committee's page, it's almost all positive. The one dark spot is literally a dark spot with John McCain's name on a tiny button. I'm sure it's all negative about him as well. But the difference is clear: the Democrats have a much, much more positive page. If you measure positivity, not negativity, the Democrats have it in the bag, even though it is in the middle of the Republican National Convention. It's supposed to be all positive when it's your time to shine, but apparently, there's not too much to get excited about with John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Speaking of which, she speaks tonight. Can't wait to see what she says. She's like my worst nightmare. A woman so conservative she'd work to ensure other women could never break the glass ceiling she has the possibility of breaking, and so anti-choice she opposes abortion even in cases of rape, incest, or endangering the health of the mother. As far as her speech, I'll probably just read about it in the New York or Los Angeles Times tomorrow. I'm done with conventions, and I never can tolerate listening to Republicans. Hey, I never said I was unbiased.

Family Planning is a Gift from God

I am annoyed. By the way, the picture to the left is from Harvard's website (giving credit where credit is due). But anyway, back to why I am annoyed.

Sarah Palin's daughter is pregnant. Jamie Lynn Spears gets pregnant, and the media jumps all over her. Now, this woman, who is anti-contraception, anti-choice, and is touted as having spectacular "family values," has a 17-year-old daughter who is five months pregnant, and all those Christian conservatives are valuing Ms. Palin for her daughter's choice of continuing with the pregnancy, getting married at 17, and praising the mother for having such a loving, supportive family. This is some kind of victory? Unplanned pregnancy, the triumph of ignorance about family planning and responsible sexuality, is a victory for family values?

How about the value of honesty and teaching your children about how to be responsible, giving them all of the options available to women and girls, and facing the reality of teen sex? Hopefully, this girl had the option of making the choice to continue the pregnancy for herself and isn't deciding to marry this guy because her mother is in politics. If she is, how wonderful that she has the option of doing so with the support of her family. How about all those other women out there who make the same choice because otherwise their families would disown them? How about those who then get trapped into a marriage? Or, how about the women who choose not to continue the pregnancy out of necessity also?

Being pro-choice means enabling women to make those choices. The choice of having sex, but being responsible. The choice of not continuing the pregnancy and not marrying the person who got you pregnant. How about that?

And one more thing before I go. Sarah Palin's governor survey by the Eagle Forum shows that she is against comprehensive sex education, in favor of abstinence-only education. My favorite part, though, about this survey, is this quote (from the LA Times)'"The explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support," Palin responded [to the survey], according to the [survey] site.' This woman doesn't even know what real sex-education includes.

When I attended public school in New Jersey, we had real sex education, which acknowledged the existence of teen sex drive. They told me time and time again, the only sure way NOT to get pregnant, or get an STD, is to NOT have sex. They also taught us about contraception, condoms, and how to be safe should we choose to have sex. That being said, they taught us that we should wait until we are old enough to handle the consequences of sex. And yes, all this from a COMPREHENSIVE SEX ED CURRICULUM. Abstience-only education is not education; it's fantasy. It doesn't teach teens to be responsible about sex if they do feel ready, and sex is a reality of life. We shouldn't be telling our kids incorrect things about choices they will be facing (like that condoms and contraception never work or any of the other lies they include). Instead, we should be honest. Our children deserve that.

Working with Racism

All this time, I've been checking like three job sites and applying for jobs there. Then, last night, the gf showed me a site on Dartmouth's career services page with about four more places to find non-profit jobs. It was like a lightning bolt - all these jobs, just for me! Thus, I applied to seven jobs today, one last night, and one on Friday. We will see if they come through, but right now, I feel much better about life. I feel like there are more possibilities. San Francisco seems closer already.

This have been hectic here in LA. The weather still hasn't changed, but the circumstances are much better. The crazy grandmother is no longer living in the house, though she still has no MediCal funding to go into the more permanent nursing home. Thus, we cannot move on furniture in the garage (read: giving it away to the thrift store to give to those who need it more), so it is still a disaster in there, but an organized one at least. The furniture in the house is back to the way it was before April, so that is nice. There is a couch, for instance, so we can watch television in comfort, not in bed. We went on a camping trip a few weeks ago with the gf's brother and family, and that was a great deal of fun. Then there was a graduation party, where I got to meet everyone in the family's circle of friends. Otherwise, we've been moving furniture, organizing clothes, moving clothes into real closets, sleeping in a double bed instead of a trundle one, going out, and worrying about money and jobs. I really need a source of income. One job for which I interviewed has still not really gotten back to me, though they did say they were doing second-round interviews and I would hear from them soon. I'm losing hope on that, even though I thought I had a great interview. Alas; I'm moving on.

So, that's life right now. I apologize it has been awhile for that update. In other news...

Yesterday I wanted to get my hair cut. We went to a little salon called Fantastic Sam's here in Culver City, but they were too busy. Since we had a babysitting job in Inglewood to rush to at 3PM, we decided to head over there to seek a salon that wasn't as busy. Thus, we walked into a beauty supply shop so I could get a hair cut.

As I walked in, I could tell I would be the only white person, besides the gf, in the entire store. No matter, I said, I will stay and get my haircut. It occurred to me that they may not have had the experience working with my hair, considering my hair is distinctly different from the African-American variety. However, it is much easier to cut, I'm sure, so no worries. I come in, tell the hair stylist that I'd like a haircut, and she squeezed me in. After some deliberation and miscommunication, she washed my hair and cut it like I wanted.

Of course, I made the mistake of not asking for the price at the beginning, but at the end, she told me the damage was $65. Shocked, I paid for the haircut graciously and even gave her a tip. Walking out of there, I was very upset about the price: LA is expensive, I told myself, and that place wasn't even that nice.

We babysat for three hours, and finally, our friends returned from their movie/work commitments. As we were eating dinner with them, I told them of my experience with the haircut. "They charged you more because you were white," I was told. Hmm. That's probably true. It actually makes me feel better.

Why, one might ask, would it make me feel better to have been taken advantage of based on my race? First, because I can attribute it to the chip on her shoulder. It was racism. It made me feel less like a sucker and more like a victim of a system much greater than myself. Even though it was unkind and only contributes to a racist society and racial distrust, I know that in my position of privilege, it probably made her feel better to a greater degree than it upset me. I will probably make more money than her based solely on my race and socioeconomic status. I have many more advantages in my corner than she has in hers. In the long run, $30 is not that big of a deal. Thus, if me getting ripped off was my part in the giant scheme of things, and if next time she meets a nice white person she doesn't want to rip her off, I will have been ripped off for a good cause.

At least, that's what I'm hoping. Doesn't mean I'll be sending clients her way, though.

Swimming Through August

It is about halfway through August, a little more, and the report is: still no job, but I had an interview last week that went well, so I'm hoping to hear back from that. It would be a development job, and I'm excited about the prospect of being a professional fundraiser. I think I'd be good at it.

I've been watching Olympic swimming here in California. I watched the opening ceremonies in San Francisco, and then the first five days, and I've been back in LA since Thursday night. I've really enjoyed watching the close races, and I've loved cheering for the US all the way. I'm watching the medal ceremony for Dara Torres - she got silver in this race, the 50m swim. I'm really hoping she pulls out a gold in the relay race she has in like 20 minutes... it's pretty crappy the way the scheduling worked out for her. At 41 years old, she could use all the breaks she can get. Sadly, she didn't get that one.

Anyhoo... I really enjoyed San Francisco. I've been so caught up in life lately that I haven't written in my blog, but I liked the city a lot and it was very much worth the long drive. We took the PCH up the coast, and it was beautiful. I was not in a picture mood until it started getting really spectacular about halfway up, but then after that, I was exhausted and done with driving, so I put the camera away. But, San Francisco did not disappoint. The architecture was awesome, too. I think I know where I'm interested in living, if we can afford it, but it really comes down to which job I have and how much I'll be making, in addition to what the gf will be making. If I get this job that I want, I'll be sitting well - a lot more than my previous job. But, no matter what, I will keep my priorities in line financially and not spend more than I should on housing. That's what is most important. We're debating between a two bedroom and a one bedroom by ourselves. Ideally, I'd like to have the one bedroom, but a two might be cheaper, so we'll have to see. I'm so, so excited to be getting an apartment with her, though, after all this time.

US is in front in the women's medley... now Australia... still Australia... and Australia won it. Scores unofficial. Apparently, Sweden got eliminated because they did a false start. But Australia won, America got the American record, so that's good. Hooray, women. Michael Phelps is up next.

Alright, I'm going to write later. I can't really focus right now.

It's The End of July As We Know It

July 31, 2008. Still no job, but I'm increasingly optimistic. I do not know precisely why, but things are nice here, so I'm still OK. I'm churning out cover letters and e-mails at a good pace, and I'm confident something will turn up soon. Not sure whether or not it will be in LA or in San Francisco, but things are not getting worse.

Things I'm not really missing: I have been pretty much ignoring the news lately, and though I do miss my NPR, I'm still enjoying the time away from drones discussing Obama's latest haircut and McCain's latest borefest of a speech at the Gun-Owning Bible Thumper Association (GOBTA for short).

However, I have been listening to just a bit too much coverage of the "energy crisis." Suddenly, gas is almost as expensive as a root canal for Hummer owners, so there is an oil crisis. And what do these brilliant civil servants talk about? Drilling for more pollutants in a wildlife refuge. Great idea. One sure way to break our nation's "addiction" to oil is to... get more of it! I think the great irony of this is that in the US, when someone has an addiction to something, rarely do we rehabilitate this person, but we throw him/her in jail to think about how the drugs they bought contributed to terrorism and are illegal. On the other hand, if a human is addicted to oil, we figure out a way to get the expensive fix less expensive and more available. Who cares if we kill a few caribou along the way! Almost as stupid as selling beer at gas stations. Here, take a 24-pack, crack a few open, and drive head-on into an innocent 45-year-old with 2 kids!

Of course, we couldn't dare tap into our massive oil reserves, which we're holding onto in case of some apocalypse. Do we really need all of that? Use it all up, and if we have to run our military vehicles on biodiesel, hydrogen, or natural gas, so be it. Once it's gone, it's gone - no more addiction, no more oil shortage, no more problem. Oil will be like diamonds, and the government will bring down the price of alternative fuel vehicles, pump up the public transportation, and things will actually change. Oh, and the oil companies: no more massive profits. How beautiful the world would be.

The other thing I heard in the news was an oil spill in the Mississippi. Another event that could have been prevented by not using oil. There Will Be Blood was right: oil sucks.

It Never Rains in LA

It's creepy. Every morning, it's cloudy and cool, and yet it never rains. I woke up this morning and was sure it was raining outside. In fact, I even deluded myself into thinking there were drops of rain on the porch. I worried about it because yesterday, we began the task of repacking my boxes so that when we move, they are packed in a logical way, and so all of my worldly possessions were sitting out on the patio. Had it rained, my stuff would have been soaked, and it would have been a disaster. Fortunately for me, it never rains here.

I've been pondering what that means for a city. I have concluded it somehow cheapens the sunshine. How can one appreciate a beautiful day if it is never ugly? At home in New Jersey, there's interesting things going on on summer nights. Sure, it's hot and humid all day, but at night, it almost always storms and there's great lightning and refreshing coolness. Under the street lights, one marvels at the evaporating moisture steaming off the asphalt after a heavy rain, covering the streets in a London-like fog. It's poetic. Here, nothing like that happens. I think it's sad. Like the celebrities who live here, the weather seems artificial. Bad things are happening all over the world, but here in Los Angeles, nothing's wrong. Weird.

Anyhoo, now that the self-reflection portion of my blog is over, let me present to you the rest of my pictures! These are from Yosemite National Park. After that was my friend's wedding. I'll do those at a later date. Basically, Yosemite is everything a park should be. Lots of trees, waterfalls, and mountains. Perfect.

Pictures

Here are more pictures from the ltrip. These are from Arches National Park, a beautiful desert park with rock formations carved out by various things... I don't remember. You can look it up if you truly are interested. Anyway, it's in Utah, and it was the only redeeming thing about that hot, dry, and barren state. In case you were interested, I had blood in my nose for the last 6 days of my trip or so. It was very unpleasant. The Pacific Ocean and the Pacific Coast truly is the oasis from the western desert.

If You're Going to Los Angeles, Be Sure to Wear...?

We have arrived. 3600 miles after we started, we are finally in La La Land. The weather has been bizarre here, cloudy and chilly at times during the day, but it might be just the fact that I'm not used to living by the beach anymore since my parents moved inland, away from the Jersey Shore. I just always expect LA to be hot, clear, and dry.

So, where did I leave off? Ah yes, Tonopah, Nevada. Well, after our free hotel room experience, which was great, because we loved the room in addition to having it be free, we drove the treacherous passage up to Yosemite National Park and arrived in Curry Village. We stayed in a tent cabin, which was way nicer than I had anticipated it being. However, the campsite was loud, with many small, obnoxious children running about. One child was climbing on my bike, but when I asked various parents to put a leash on him, they initially denied the child was theirs, but then conceded. He had also thrown a slushie on the ground by our tent. This normally would not be a problem, but in a national park, there is wildlife. We were so paranoid and cautious about bears that we locked our food away in lockers and threw our trash out in bear-proof trash cans. Thus, I was sure the slushie would attract a bear and convince him to eat us in our little tent cabin. Needless to say, that did not happen, and we lived to tell the tale.

Beyond our little camping village, the scenery was beautiful. There was a great deal of the two main ingredients in a national park: water and trees. I feel that every national park should have water and trees. When we went to Arches National Park, it was beautiful, but it got old quickly because it was hot and we were surrounded by red rocks. I never get tired of water and trees. It could be that green and blue are my two favorite colors, but mostly, it's the contrast of green trees with blue water and a light blue sky that really makes me happy.

In our time at Yosemite, we saw a bear cub, caribou, a moose, and thankfully, not many bugs to detract from my time there. On the main day we were there, July 3, we took a 7-mile hike up to Vernal Falls and Nevada Falls beyond that. It was long and parts were quite challenging, but it was totally worth it at the top of Nevada Falls. Pictures are coming tomorrow or the next day. The weather was spectacular, and the water from the falls kept us cool. When we got to the top of Nevada Falls, I dunked my head in the pristine - and frigid - waters, and it felt amazing. It was the only thing keeping me alive for the long hike down. We went a different way, so it was shorter than I had worried it might be, and much easier than the 4 hours up, but still, we were exhausted and hot by the time we got back to Curry Village. We ate an entire pizza in silence and then did showers after relaxing a little in the cabins. It was great to use our bodies again after 8 days in the car.

After Yosemite, I went straight to the wedding rehearsal in preparation for my best friend from high school's wedding. A and S were married on July 5, and I played during the ceremony with the organist/pianist. It was good to see my friend again, and the organist and I and my better half got along very well. Instead of going to the rehearsal dinner after 5 hours of practice, we went to a taco place to have beer and tacos instead, which was great. Good bonding time for the three of us. The gf sat through our rehearsing and the actual rehearsal, so she knew the whole procedure, and in fact, she got a chance to lead the congregation in song during the bride's favorite hymn, How Beautiful. Thus, my atheist girlfriend led a Lutheran congregation in the singing of a hymn about the beauty of the body of Christ. It was hilarious and amazing.

The wedding itself was a great deal of fun - I'll have pictures of that to come as well. It was fun, everyone was smiling and loving and happy, and no one was drunk and acting like an idiot. Thus, the perfect wedding. (~: It was mostly my friend's college friends (who knew the bride and groom together), with a few of us who had gone to high school with A. The maid of honor was a good friend of mine from high school with whom I had sort of lost touch in the recent years. She and I caught up and spent a decent amount of time together. She met my girlfriend and said she liked her a lot, which was nice to hear. We decided to be better at this communication thing, so we can't fall out of touch again.

After the wedding, we had brunch with the bride's family and the wedding party, which was even more fun than the wedding reception (at least for me - fewer people, more attention paid to me and my wit, haha), and then we drove home to Los Angeles. We were going to take the Pacific Coast Highway (Route 1), but sadly, there are forest fires all along the highway and it is closed by Santa Barbara and Big Sur. Apparently, they are quite out of control, which is sad. Anyway, after a hot, trafficky drive, we got here in one piece.

So, overall, a lovely trip, few fights, we're still together and lovey, no tickets, no flat tires, and all of my stuff is in good shape. No casualties of any sort. So, now the two of us have done the two hardest tests of relationships: extended travel and long distance. What could possibly get in our way now in our future lives together???

Alright, that is all for now. Like I said, pictures to come.

Free Hotel Rooms Rock!

We are now in Nevada, and there is gambling everywhere. The hotel has a casino in it. At first, we thought the place was just super cheesy, but as it turns out, we gambled for a free stay, and we won! I rolled a three of a kind in the giant dice cage thing, and we didn't have to spend $70 on a hotel. It was cool. Feeling lucky, we played the slot machines and promptly lost $4. Oh well. That's life.

We have a great room, and I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and heading out to Yosemite tomorrow.

Oh, and I'm completely happy and in love. We had a great day today, even though it was a long one.

Altitude and Attitude

Today we drove through Rocky Mountain National Park after spending a wonderful night with a friend and her various family and visiting friends in Fort Collins, Colorado. We had a great time, but we did not anticipate it taking 5 hours to drive through grueling and altitudinous Rocky Mountain National Park. Now, don't get me wrong, it's gorgeous, and there are lots of cool animals, great views, and spectacular cliffs, but does it really have to be that high? Both the gf and I got sick or faint-y, so we took it slow, drank lots of water, took pee breaks, and finally made it to the 12,183 ft mark in the park. It was cold up there. On the way down, we saw a bighorn sheep, a moose or two, some caribou, and pretty birds. We also saw lots and lots of trees (but we kept our sights on the forest, ha ha).

Originally, our plan was to make it to Fillmore, Utah, but that fell through when we realized how late it was and that we had over 400 miles to drive and it was not going to happen. We did, however, have a great drive through canyons and over the Colorado River many times. After eating, I came out of my hissy fit and woke up a little. That helped all around.

By the way: do we really need signs denoting the same river each bridge you encounter? Can't you figure out that the massive river you passed 10 miles back is the same massive river? Silly local governments wasting our hard-earned tax monies. (Now I sound like a Republican.)

Ok, a few more pictures, and I'll write more tomorrow or whenever I can. Farewell.

I'm All Over the Place!

Here's us driving past Mount Rushmore. That's half of Teddy Roosevelt. Not his best picture, I'd say.













Here's me by Washington's profile.























Here's me in the Badlands.








Here, I'm at Pactola Lake in the Black Hills.

















And here is some animal's butt in Rocky Mountain National Park.

Badlands and Black Hills

Today we "hiked" through the Badlands on Castle Trail, which was a glorified walk in truth. I was tired afterwards only because I had previously been sitting for at least 14 hours a day. Then, I slept for the rest of the time. Thus, the toughness. Anyway, it was pretty, and we took pictures, but then we got bored and ignored the rest of the 5-mile trail to go to the Black Hills.

On our way to the Black Hills, we took the driving tour of the rest of the Badlands, called the Badlands Loop. On that, we drove down a super dusty dirt road for 25 miles, covering everything inside and out in a fine, red dirt. The upside though was that we got some great views and we saw bison!! They are HUGE, so that was cool.

After that, the combination of too much sun, too little food, and dirt got the best of us, and my better half and I didn't really have many nice things to say to each other. I was pissier, so it's really my fault - but I really hate being dirty.

Beyond that, we saw some beautiful views of the Black Hills. Sadly, the camera had run out of batteries by early on in the park, so we neglected to get pictures of Mount Rushmore, Custer State Park, or Jewel Cave. However, we will be taking a loop back through the forest tomorrow and I will be putting the camera to work overtime.

We braved the mass of mosquitos to get the camera charger tonight, so now it is charging, and we will have cool pictures to show tomorrow.

Currently, blogger is sucking and will not let me upload pictures to this post, so I'll make more pictures available tomorrow if I can. If not, I'll put everything up on Facebook when I get a chance. Hang in there, peeps!

Welcome to the Badlands

So quick post before I go to bed, exhausted and having killed about 7,000 mosquitos with the bottom of my flip flop.

Yesterday, we took a tour of Cleveland, which was neat, and we saw the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Cleveland Clinic (which is HUGE), and Lake Erie. Of course, before that, we enjoyed watching the open skate at the Cleveland Heights Rec Center. The gf's friend taught a skating lesson there to some girl, which was fun to watch and presumably fun for him to do as well.

After Cleveland, we headed for Chicago, getting there during rush hour. But, we made it, and we had a lovely time with my friend C in Chicago. We had dinner, talked, caught up, and exchanged stories of people from college and what they were doing now.

Since C goes to work at 6:40 in the morning, my better half and I left Chicago then also. We originally were going to head to St. Paul to stay with a friend, but for various reasons, that fell through. It worked out for the better, though, since because of our early start this morning, we made it all the way to the BEAUTIFUL Badlands of South Dakota after a great dinner and wonderful day of driving. We drove through one time zone into the next in 26 hours, so about 900 miles of driving tonight.

The Badlands are amazing. Whomever told me there was nothing to see in South Dakota, mainly my brother, who has never been, was dead wrong. This park is gorgeous, adn after some hiking, we're goingt o check out the Black Hills as well, which I'm sure will be just as beautiful. I also enjoyed the drive through the state tremendously. It's beautiful and vastly different from anything I've ever seen before. Wide open, green, and you can see thunderstorms coming from 50 miles away. Amazing. I'm telling you: go.

Pictures tomorrow, I promise. I can't open my door right now because we'd be invaded by mosquitos. For reals. Ta ta.

Cleveland... Rocks?

Hey all, and welcome to blog post number one from my trip across the country! I will include pictures when I have more than... three.

We woke up this morning at 7AM, though I was anxious and excited all night and the night before last as well. We finished packing, and then I took a look in the garage and was appalled to find more stuff I had forgotten. After deciding I could say no to approximately eight books from college, I took the West Side Story and Lord of the Rings DVDs out of the heretofore forgotten box and left my parents in tears. Fortunately, I got a chance to see them again because, in normal Danielle fashion, I left my bike in the garage at home. We went back and got it, which was after my parents finished crying, and set off again with the bike securely fashioned to the back of the crap-filled vehicle.

I took a few minutes for a cryfest and headed to my sister's house before departing for Ohio. She had made us pancakes, so we ate breakfast there and chatted about Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson (who "has more mileage than the New Jersey Turnpike" - I hope she doesn't read my blog), among other things. When it was time to leave, my nephew Christopher decided he was going to throw a hissy, so it broke up the sadness of the moment and it was a not tearful goodbye. That was a break, I must confess.

Anyway, after that, we hit the road - hard, just like I hit all roads - and we set off through Pennsylvania and the land of many state forests to the greater Cleveland area, the land of fortified CVS drugstores. My better half's friend, with whom we are staying tonight, lives near Shaker Village, where the Shakers lived before, you know, they died from not reproducing. Silly religious cult. Anyway, when I got out of the car, I did the obligatory shake, which the Shakers did not do enough of, I can assure you, and then we settled in for a delicious dinner of pasta with pancetta and an egg-cheese mixture in addition to zucchini, red peppers, onions, cheddar cheese, and breadcrumbs. Delicious.

Anyway, I'm wiped after 8 hours of driving, but I have good news before I go: gas IS cheaper when you head away from the New York metropolitan area! Take that, New Yorkers!

Another Belated Blog Post

My apologies, dear reader, for I have been lax with the posting of the blog. (Somehow that just reminded me of Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, when the Jewish producers say they like Dewey because of the “shaking of the tookus”… however one spells that in Yiddish.) In any case, I’m sorry.

I’m listening to This American Life, and they’re doing a thing on the Ten Commandments. My favorite quote: “The first thing [Evangelist sex books] always tell you is that sex is a beautiful gift from God, even though it’s a gift they don’t want you to touch or even think about because you’re just going to ruin it with your filthy paws. Any physical pleasure, even pleasure you give yourself, while alone, is completely forbidden.”

Now, if that isn’t a reason to abandon evangelical Christianity, then I don’t know what is. I mean, come on. “Guarding your heart against lust.” I think the idea that there exists love without lust is crazy – unless it means familial love. Lust while one is in love is the best kind there is; depriving yourself of that is dumb.

In other news, I just sat at the Port Authority for over 45 minutes waiting to get on a bus to come back to Jackson. Basically, fewer and fewer people are driving into the city because of gas prices, so more and more people are taking public transportation. Great, unless you’re a commuter, such as I am myself. If you are unfortunate enough to make those frequent trips, it means longer lines and, thus, a longer commute. It sucks. I wish these people didn’t own massive SUVs – then maybe they could afford the gas to go back to their normal lives of spending too much money on parking and too much time sitting in super frustrating traffic.

Ok, happy thoughts. My girlfriend and I have finally figured out our official route to Los Angeles. Since originally her mom’s criticism of the trip was that we were not taking enough time, we’ve been thinking about how we can lengthen it. It doesn’t seem like I’ll get to leave work early – what ever will we do? Well, as it always seems to go, stuff started working in my favor to solve this problem. The wedding invitation said Danielle and Guest, which means the gf was invited. Thus, instead of driving to LA and then having me drive up to Santa Cruz for this wedding by myself, we are going to stop in Santa Cruz on our way out to California, do the wedding, and then go to Los Angeles afterwards. A brilliant plan – I’m dating such a smarty. This way, we’ll be driving through Yosemite, the Badlands… all the lovely natural wonders between here and California.

Ok, that ends the post I wrote last week. Now for this week:

I’m reading a book I should have read in college called Welfare’s End by Gwendolyn Mink, daughter of Patsy Takemoto Mink. She’s a professor at UC Santa Cruz, and she’s making me want to go to history grad school and do contemporary feminism. Anyway, it basically advances the idea that welfare “reform,” which really means the dismantling of welfare, is an attack on poor women of color. Hmm… any ties to reproductive rights? Think they’re going after Jenna Bush’s freedom of choice? Nope. It’s really the poor women of color who will suffer if Roe v. Wade is overturned – not rich white people. Anyway, it’s poor women of color who really need their morals guarded by others – they just can’t take care of themselves! Thank goodness those right-wingers are looking after those who need it the most. Take away their welfare, their access to reproductive health, and make them slaves again.

Now, I’m thinking about ballot initiatives because we talked about it at work, and it occurs to me that the one reason this Colorado fetal personhood amendment will never pass is because it is a direct assault not just on poor women, but rich people. As a staff member pointed out today, granting personhood with constitutional rights to a fetus would basically eliminate in vitro fertilization methods and fertility treatments. It also endangers birth control, which affects all women, not just poor ones. It will fail because it pisses off all women, not just the ones who a) aren’t heard by the media or b) are too busy working their butts off to vote.

God Bless America.

Making a Statement, But Not One of Fashion

Yesterday evening, as I began my daily sprint for the Port Authority Bus Terminal at the end of a long day at work, I noticed something that had not previously dawned on me.

In New York City, 5PM means the end of daylight, especially in Midtown. The buildings that surround you completely obscure the dwindling sunlight, and even though the sun does not officially set until 8PM or so, it begins to grow gray. Thus, it would be somewhat inappropriate to wear sunglasses outside.

Almost every man on the street will have his sunglasses either in his shirt, tucked away in a case, or on his head just in case a sudden flash of light should render them useful once more before nightfall. Strangely enough, however, nearly 80% of the women defiantly wore their sunglasses.

Perhaps these women are optimists and love summer so much that they feel the need to wear sunglasses even at dusk. Or, maybe they are channeling Sex and the City and are showing their style with their sweet shades. I think, though, that there is yet another reason to risk falling in a pothole due to decreased visibility: security.

The summer months have to be the most trying for a member of the female, or as Simone de Beauvoir once elegantly put it, second, sex. Our clothes are by convention lighter, more transparent, tighter, and overall less covering. Sadly, this seems to mean it is open season for those of the opposite sex to gawk, whistle, or cat call any woman they deem attractive. In the winter, when this occurs, one may cast a disapproving glance in a man's direction or look down to show embarrassment at this complete violation of decency, but generally, one is caught in the awkward position of having to face someone who does it.

That is, until it gets to be springtime and warm enough to justify sporting the glasses. Sunglasses let us off the hook. Now, since it is almost inevitable for some jerk to stare at you or whistle rudely as you walk past, sunglasses create a barrier there that protects object of the gawk from the gawker. One may roll one's eyes without retaliation, or pretend not to hear it, and look sweet in the process. Women are so much more confident with their sunglasses on, especially those that cover nearly the entire face of the wearer. Amazing.

This is the sad state of the world, though. Women must put these barriers between them and the rest of the world in order to feel secure in their own bodies. Even on the subway, if one has the opportunity to justify wearing sunglasses for the entirety of the underground ride (because part of the route is above ground), it is taken with relish. It's the iPod for the eyes, another chance to avoid human interaction, and therefore, objectification.

When it comes to sunglasses, I must admit that I have come a long way from my earlier days of constant wear. When I was in high school, I wore the largest, bug-like sports sunglasses one could imagine. For my tiny head, they were always too massive, and not only did they obscure my eyes from everyone, they even reflected back the image before me. Thus, if someone were to stare into my sporty shades, they would only catch a glimpse of themselves, perfectly distorted like a fat mirror. Since them, I have grown a little more confident and can go with the simple brown matte glasses, unmirrored. Still, sometimes I miss the anonymity of my Oakleys, so I bought all of the various lenses so that I can use them to bike in almost any imaginable light.

Anyway, I guess the statement women make by wearing glasses at night is this: keep off and keep your thoughts to yourself. Not only do we not care, but we are too cool to give you the benefit of seeing that you made us look at you. Defiance is, after all, always in style.

Cooking, Like Life and Keeping a Blog, Is Hard

I have been terrible, dear readers, with keeping up with the blog as of late. One explanation, though not an excuse, is that I am now commuting back and forth from my place of business in New York to my place of residence in far-away New Jersey. Another is that I have not been contemplating my own existence lately. That ends now.

What have I been up to lately? Well, this past weekend, I evacuated my apartment. I say evacuated because it was quick and poorly organized, though appropriately done, and has resulted in a great deal of cleanup after the fact where all of my stuff currently resides back at home with my parents. After that was Memorial Day, which consisted of me playing with my sister's children ad exausteum (nope, not a word) and then consuming unhealthy amounts of meat. In fact, I would say that was a theme for the weekend. Ethics aside, each helping of processed meat beef was delicious. Normally I do not eat meat, but sadly, not because of a moral inclination on my part, but instead because it was too expensive for me to buy when I was living alone. Now, my parents buy the meat, so I eat whatever they put in front of me. And hey, if hot dogs and hamburgers are not present at a Memorial Day cookout, something's not right.

As a side note, Memorial Day isn't about patriotism, my sister informed me, but about honoring those who died. She's right, of course, but that does not preclude me from shivering at the sight of the American flag, even if it accompanies delicious beef. In spite of that, I had a lovely time.

Then began the week of work and three hours of commuting every day, which is decidedly not fun, not to mention this week and next are the longest in recorded history. You see, readers, after next Sunday, I will be living full-time with my girlfriend of nearly two years. First with my parents, and then with hers, but by then we will begin our lives together - and that is a reason to celebrate. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but still I must work, which is... hard.

Beyond commuting, which is hard enough, I am getting discouraged by my lack of abilities. The thing I am focusing on currently is cooking. I cannot cook, and I think it's because of my undiagnosed attention deficit disorder. Basically, I start cooking, I get distracted, I try once again to reel myself in and focus, I do something for 5 minutes, and then I am back to not paying any heed of the boiling/steaming/sauteeing mess on the stove for which I am responsible.

I tried to make rice on Tuesday night, figuring I would bring in rice and beans (possibly in honor of Rent) to work. Sadly, I cannot for the life of me get the proportions of water to rice down to make an acceptable pot of rice. It either comes out burned or overcooked and pudding-like. After I failed once again, I had about a pound of terrible rice to deal with and decided to try to make fried rice. The recipe was near the stove, and I decided not to follow it at all and, naturally, I managed to make an eggy, soy-sauce-ey, oily pan of mush unacceptable to any human being. I became enraged and vowed not to cook until I stopped being an idiot.

I thought to myself, maybe I simply needed inspiration. I decided to pick up the nightstand book Aphrodite by Isabel Allende, which is exciting, intoxicating, and totally hot. This, however, made me want to burn calories, not put them together into an interesting dish. Sigh. At least the book is nearly over.

Part of growing up is facing the truth about yourself. One of those truths may be that I am not interested in cooking. I rarely enjoy it when I am alone, because I cook to feed myself, not out of pleasure. If it is mixed with something else, perhaps time with friends or a romantic activity, it's fun, but otherwise, I do not truly possess a love of food. I like good food, but I'm not a foodie.

Another truth is that I have no attention span. Work is hard for me. I wish I could have been born a more gifted athlete so I could be a professional soccer player. I seriously believe that was my calling, and somewhere along the line, I veered off course. Thus, I am forced to discover something else in which I take as much pleasure as soccer.

I'm tired of being asked what I'll be doing after I leave New York. I still am no closer to discovering my path than I was a week ago, so please, stop asking. I'm back to being depressed and pessimistic about my career, so I will be thriving on my personal life while I struggle to reconcile my dreams with reality. At least I still have dreams. And after all, I've managed to see the light at the end of my relationship tunnel. It's only a matter of time before I start to see the end of the next large tunnel in work life, right?

Luckily, or somewhat sadly, depending on how you look at it, at the age of 22, time is really what I have.

Love and Marriage

After California legalized gay marriage, every conservative has been rushing to get their name at the top of the list of people who hate gays.

The column that takes the cake for me is the one I read today. This woman was a writer from the Ethics and Public Policy center, a Catholic conservative think tank of crap manufactured to tow the party line. The column argued that the problem with gay marriage is that it is a break from the traditional marriage, and the traditional marriage and family is the backbone of our healthy society. Marriage isn’t discriminatory, she said, but it exists because that is the situation that benefits the human species and is necessary for reproduction. Anything else is unnatural.

Now, let’s think about this for a second. First premise: traditional marriage. Traditional marriage had nothing to do with the fact that it is a good situation for kids. Marriage came about as a way to own women. Kids came out of those property exchanges, and then the women were stuck in them with a second kind of adhesive. When women had no right to divorce, women had to work at saving relationships. Maybe that’s why they call it “making it work.” If you’re forced to be somewhere you don’t want to be, they call it work.

Secondly, to the argument that (and stop me if you’ve heard this one) gay marriage is “unnatural.” Basically, our entire society comes not from nature, but a creation of our collective imagination, innovation, and, yes, evolution. Perhaps that argument doesn’t hold water for these esteemed thinkers because they don’t believe in evolution. That aside, these people haven’t changed in 200 years, when they first began arguing against interracial marriage.

I have to say, homosexuality is not an invention of modern times. For many thousands of years, literature from less prudish cultures and eras than the European tradition has documented many, many homosexual relationships throughout the ages. These people who claim homosexuality, or homo eroticism, even, to be unnatural are suppressing it within themselves. Let’s face it: most of us have had homosexual attractions. I know many, many people who have had same-sex attractions or love interests who may or may not have acted upon them.

That aside, let’s think of it another way. WHO CARES? Why do these people invest so much time and energy into butting into everyone else’s lives? And if marriage is weakened, who cares? It wasn’t started to make people happy; it began as a way to control women and exchange property. We have come a long way since then; so should the “sacred” union of marriage.

Which brings me to another interesting discussion: why is it that couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce than couples who do not? Is it because many people who live together decide that they should eventually get married for financial reasons? Is it because “relationship inertia,” as I heard it described brilliantly by a co-worker today?

I really don’t know the answer to this question, but I have to say, I think marriage is outdated and stupid. I mean, it’s great if you’re living with someone to whom you are completely committed and in love with to be able to make that publicly known. However, marriage as an institution for society as a whole is incompatible with the modern world.

People have always stayed in marriages for many of the wrong reasons, like financial ones or cultural ones. Now, people are still entering into marriages for the wrong reasons, like family pressure or for tax breaks. Marriage is seen as the “logical next step,” and it would seem that the term itself is a harbinger of doom. It’s so weighted, and then there are all those absolutes. “’Til DEATH do you part. FOR-E-VER.” I mean, who wouldn’t be scared of that? There are plenty of reasons why people should get out of marriages, like abuse or infidelity. The thing is, most people take on marriage now without really meaning it. It’s not modern relationships that are causing this devaluation of marriage, but society. It’s so commercial. It’s about a dress, a huge party, and a big-old ring. Love is so romanticized, and it’s cheapened in the process. It’s not always like it is in the movies, and I think that’s hard for everyone to deal with.

And the truth is, it’s these same depressed, lonely, and hateful conservatives who are creating a world in which marriage is destined to fail – and they’re making a lot of money in the process. So, while they’re sitting in their townhouses telling gays to go back into the closet and admonishing the demise of traditional institutions, they could really care less.

All the courts in California said last week is that gay people are the same as straight people. They have every right to be as miserable as the rest of the people of this fine country. It’s about rights. To be honest, I wish we were fighting a more relevant battle; this one’s like fighting to be granted a seat on a crashing plane.

I’m completely in love, and I may get married someday, but I don’t need this meaningless institution to solidify my relationship. All I need is Uncle Sam’s tax benefit. Since I’m moving to California, HAND IT OVER.

Traffic and Trafficking

I read an article in The New Yorker magazine about human trafficking. Wow, was it depressing. Basically, it exemplifies the idea of women as commodities for free trading around the world. Their bodies - or more appropriately, physiologies - are routinely degraded, devalued, and dehumanized for sex or the idea of sex. Part of me read this article in the, "Shame on the rest of the world for being so evil" point of view, but at the end, I thought to myself, "Shame on all of us."

The things we tolerate as women, and even propagate, in terms of patriarchy, are unreal. There are people out there who still don't believe in marital rape. There are daily infringements on our reproductive freedoms (women = baby machines), constant images of women as sex objects in advertisements from everything from perfume to beer to movies to fast food meals. My favorite manifestation of late, and my favorite topic of conversation around this daily humiliation, is the Heineken ads with the robotic woman-keg. Basically, this is advertised as the perfect woman: big breasts, big hips, without a personality or free will, and she pumps alcohol. Wow, great. The way this and arguably every society around the world treats women is despicable, and it leads to a culture in which human sex trafficking is allowed to continue. If women were respected everywhere, it would not be able to happen.

All or most of the women in the article wound up in Dubai as sex slaves. This would make perfect sense if Dubai were some hole-in-the-wall place out of the sights of the world (like if no one had ever heard of it), but it's not. It's one of the wealthiest, if not the wealthiest, cities in the wealthiest country in the world. Tons of US and other international corporations have huge stakes in Dubai, and many US universities are considering setting up international campuses there. This is a place where rich people go to play and free enterprise reigns, so it is no wonder that those same rich people pay a ton of money for sex with abused, illegal prostitutes. It is also no wonder that in a country where oppression of women is the norm, victims of trafficking are arrested instead of aided.

I think this all really gets back to not only our devaluation of women, but our complete and utter dependency on oil. This, of course, brings me to traffic.

There are too many people in New York. I cannot wait to leave this place. I took a long bike ride on Saturday, which would have been fine, but I rarely had an opportunity to glide uninterrupted through the streets because there was always some car not paying attention about ready to kill anyone with slower reaction times on a bike. It's a jungle out there, and they're all driving huge cars. You'd think with gas prices these people would stay home, but one should never underestimate the American impulse to get out and burn fossil fuels. It's amazing.

To conclude: stop human trafficking - ride your bikes.

Gay Marriage and Abortion, All in One Day

The California Supreme Court yesterday overturned an injunction placed on gay marriages in San Francisco, ruling that bans on gay marriages are unconstitutional and discriminate against homosexuals. My girlfriend called me as soon as she heard about the ruling to make sure I heard and to tell me she loved me. "Isn't it great we're moving to California?" she said. Yes, it is great. Perfect timing. Of course, many friends e-mailed me, asking if they heard wedding bells for the two of us, but really what this means it that we can take things as quickly or as slowly as straight couples. The point is, we will have all of the options everyone else has, and that's awesome. This came in the afternoon of an already good day, and after that, it kept getting better.

I walked over to Grand Central to catch the train to the New York Academy of Sciences for an awards ceremony honoring abortion providers. The main award went to Dr. Mildred Hanson, a woman from Minneapolis, MN who has been providing abortions for 50 years. Before Roe v. Wade made abortion legal, Dr. Hanson practiced within the hospital system, working to get women safe, legal abortions. Before Roe, if you could prove you were crazy and a danger to yourself or others, you were allowed to get a legal abortion. Dr. Hanson was on her hospital's abortion committee, and she saw many desperate women in the days before legal abortion. In the documentary I promote as part of PRCH, Voices of Choice, Dr. Hanson tells a moving story of a young woman who called her in the middle of the night, desperately in need of an abortion. Dr. Hanson told her what to do to get one, but she later found out that the girl had killed herself. "To this day, I feel responsible for her death," she explains in the film.

At the awards ceremony, she told another incredibly moving story about a woman in Minnesota who died of sepsis as a result of an illegal abortion. The mortician came to drain the body of blood and placed the body over the heating grates, deeming that the best space to do so. The woman's children were upstairs, and when they looked down, they saw their dead mother being drained of blood. Horrific, and a gruesome reminder of the importance of protecting women's health and lives by keeping abortion safe and legal.

Despite these grim scenes and stories, the night was incredibly gratifying. I've never been more proud to work for a pro-choice organization, or of being pro-choice. These abortion providers were amazing. Dr. Susan Wicklund, the author of This Common Secret: My Journey as an Abortion Doctor, gave the keynote address, and she was moving and inspiring, as were all of the guests. Among them were Dr. Curtis Boyd, the doctor whose clinic was burned to the ground in New Mexico in December. He received special recognition for his battles and efforts while Dr. Hanson received the William K. Rashbaum Abortion Provider Award for dedication to women's health, the main award of the night. In the audience was Dr. George Tiller, the abortion provider in Kansas who has been embroiled in a legal witch hunt by anti-choice activists for over a year as he provides abortions up until the third trimester. He won the award last year, and he gave a moving address introducing Dr. Hanson as his mentor and constant reminder of the importance of this fight and this facet of healthcare. Also in the audience was Rev. Howard Moody, founder of the Clergy Consultation Service. The CCS was a network of clergy that investigated doctors to make sure they provided safe abortions and made referrals to women in need of abortions before Roe. He has been dubbed the "Harriet Tubman" of abortion. In addition to these big names a room full of other abortion providers and women's health advocates, heroes in their own rights. It was an amazing atmosphere of solidarity and celebration for those who provide the most stigmatized medical practice in human history.

I think my favorite part of the night was when Dr. Wicklund read excerpts from the PRCH website (the Why I Provide brochure) from members talking about their views of being abortion providers and experiences with patients. One doctor wrote that it was the only field where you fundamentally change women's lives for the better, heal them mentally and physically, and that abortion patients are the only ones who send thank-you letters. Another talked about how gratifying it was to care for women and help them through the most difficult chapters in their lives, giving them a new lease on life and a rebirth. Women's health providers and those who provide abortions love caring for women and their families. Dr. Hanson mentioned that abortion is a normal part of a woman's life, and that giving these women safe care means ensuring her children have a mother, ensuring her parents have a daughter. These doctors watched women die from the consequences of illegal abortion; they know that what they do makes for better families and a better society, and they know it is a public health necessity.

I was so moved by all of those speeches, and I'm still crying about them, but I couldn't help but think about the people out there whose sole purpose is wiping these people off of the map. It was a woman who shot George Tiller and nearly killed him, and abortion providers face dangers every day of their lives. Their families are threatened, their clinics are burned, all because they give women options to control their lives, have children when they can, and give some the compassion and care that they deserve during incredibly traumatic experiences. If you love women, you must believe in a woman's right to full healthcare, including abortion. During the times of illegal abortion, which millions of women around the world still live today, families lost their mothers, sisters, aunts, wives, and daughters. We cannot go back to those times here in the United States.

This event, in addition to the gay marriage decision, made me think about our politicians. Many of the articles after the California ruling centered around how it would reignite the political debate about gay marriage, which could hurt the Democrats. None of the presidential candidates, Democrat or Republican, support gay marriage, though Obama and Clinton support civil unions. All of these politicians will not stand up for equality but avoid these issues like the plague. That goes for abortion, too. They have never heard the stories I heard last night and throughout my tenure at PRCH from abortion doctors who put their lives on the line for women's health and rights, or if they have, they hide them in veils of secrecy.

Some day, I want a politician who stands up and talks about the importance of abortion, instead of just saying they're pro-choice. Some day, I want a president who works to end discrimination in the public square and supports the rights of all people to love and express that love just like anyone else. I want to live in a society where frank and honest discussion of freedom goes beyond debates over gun rights or the rights of bigots to say the "n" word.

That society has yet to be born, but I hope I'm in the delivery room when it is.